...previously in our life...

So Eva, my dearest little two year old exclaimed at the size of my butt! She said "Whoa Mama, that's BIG butt!!" And yes the child was talking to me, about me... so sad. In the wee hours of the morning, The Girl came into my room and crawled into bed with me. When my alarm woke us up, Eva was not entirely our of her dream, but she was talking to me. It was hilarious, she was talking absolute nonsense, but was 100% serious about it. When she finally woke up all the way, she looked at me and asked "what are you doing here?" That poor girl is going to be a sleep walker/talker like her mama. Which is a characteristic that can get you into a ton of trouble... and yes, that is experience talking. Hopefully she does not inherit my constant nightmares.

I have been contemplating moving. My life has made an incredible turn for the worst over the last year, and I think that it is time to stop attempting to salvage what I have here and move on to where I can find a new medium to re-build, and make a better life for the Schnuk and I. I have been trying to decide if moving is running, I do not want to run away, I want to move away free and clear, with nothing left behind that can potentially haunt me and destroy whatever wondefulness that awaits me. I just am not going to allow that. I know what I need to get done financially and legally. I have been writing down over and over all the reasons why I want to move, and all the reasons to not move. I must admit, it is horribly painful to be entirely honest with yourself, it is messy business. But nobody else can do it... I don't know I think that my biggest apprehension is moving so far away from Yaya and Uncle... They are a very HUGE part of both mine and Eva's lives.